Crawl, Pecho, Dorsal, Mariposa

So I find out that my host family's 24 year old son, Rodrigo, goes swimming every night and ask him to take me twice a week. I've got my goggles and I'm all ready to do my usual half-ass crawl slash dog paddle thing and we get to the pool and it's just madness, six people in a lane at a time just going nuts with the perfect crawl, muy rapido, the water frothing white, and I'm thinking how am I even going to get in there and is this what free swim is like in Mexico, like everyone is all casual all the time all day long about everything, but now, at the pool, they go fucking nuts? This is when R tells me that this is actually a swim school and they are not going to let me free swim until I take a test.

 Luckily he also tells me that the crazy swimmers are the school's best team. I'm thinking the teachers will just make sure I can float so they don't have someone drown at their school, but then R. tells me that I need to show them I know four strokes. I remember the four strokes vaguely from high school, and he preps me with the names in Spanish: Crawl, Dorsal, Pecho, Mariposa. The coach comes over and tells me to take off my chuclas...my sandals a word i just learned...and he makes me do my half ass crawl and then the backstroke and doesn't even let me try the other two before announcing that I will now be in "Grupo Naranja." Right up to this moment, I had been thinking I was going to be able to trick them somehow so they'd just let me swim. But no. Now I'm in a Mexican swim class. The Orange Group.

This beautiful man in a Speedo, Jaime, soon has us all doing this thing where we swim by kicking only with our bodies turned completely sideways and our heads still straight ahead as if in a crawl. "No muebles tu cabesa," he tells me.

"Estoy tratando," I tell him.

Then I remember why I always do a half ass crawl...from the time I was a little kid, I always hated swim class. So uptight.  So specific. Tiny adjustments and perfections when I just wanted to move.  

I have a moment with the two friendly chubby girls in the class as I pick out the words and motions that let me know they think Jaime's demand is ridiculous too. "Es imposible," I say, and I think they let me laugh with them a bit.

The best part comes when Jaime is demonstrating the body movement for the mariposa. This beautiful man with this tight little ass is pretty much fucking the water and I'm supposed to watch this. Actually, I've been ordered to watch this. He was pretty stern about it.

Hmmm. The Orange Group. Not bad. Not bad at all.